CHAT UP LINES

Now we would never recommend the use of chat up lines - they can be degrading to women and very vulgar. However, they're always good for a laugh, and we've heard some good ones (and some awful ones) in our time. Here is a pretty comprehensive list of some of the things you're likely to hear on a night out.

If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.		What's a lovely girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
	Him: "What winks and makes love like a tiger?" Her: "I don't know." Him: Smiles and winks.
Is your surname Jacob's - because you are a real cracker!		If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
	I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.
Do you have room in your handbag for my Merc keys?		When they made the alphabet they should have put U and I together.
	Him: Ten ton polar bear... Her: What?!? Him: Ten ton polar bear... Her: What are you going on about? Him: Well it breaks the ice doesn't it?
Stop the horses - I need to pick a flower.		Is it hot in here or is it you?
	You look like my first wife "Really? How many times have you been married?" "Oh I'm still a bachelor"
Didn't I see you on TV last night?		Does God know he's missing an Angel.
	Did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven?
Shall I call you in the morning or nudge you?		Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven
	I think I could fall madly in bed with you
Do you mind standing still while I pick you up		Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again
	Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through me head all day
Help the homeless-take me home with you		If you leave now you’ll be running away with my heart
	The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name
Have you got a boyfriend? Do you want a better one?		Can you catch? I think I’m falling for you
	Are you a parking ticket because you’ve got fine written all over you
You're so beautiful, I can't believe God didn't keep you for himself.		What time do you have to be back in heaven?
	I would crawl naked in the cold rain, on broken glass, just to hear you speak over the telephone!
I think you're the light at the end of my tunnel.		I only have three months to live
	I don’t know your name but I’d like to call you mine
I’ve lost my phone number-can I have yours?		Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
	Excuse me, but I can't stop to notice, how much you have been noticing me noticing you!
Quick call 999, you just stole my heart!		Point to the sky and say Excuse me, you must be lost, heaven is that way!
	Is there a rainbow? Because you're the treasure I've been searching for
If you walk away now, I'll die with a broken heart.		You're so hot than when I look at you I get a tan
	Hi, I would just like you to know how great it is to meet a potential Miss World!
I don't love you, but I could!		Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
	If you were a tear in my eyes, I would not cry for fear of losing you.
You're so sweet, you're gonna put sugar out of business.		Do you know me? No! I would like to change that!
	Give a rose to someone and say "I wanted to show this rose how beautiful you are".
When I look into your eyes I see the moon and the stars.		Its women like you who stop me from becoming a monk!
	I found this rose and figured it had to belong to someone as beautiful as you.
You remind me of a compass because I'd be lost without you.		Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
	Inheriting eighty million quid doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
Is your last name Gillette, because you're the best a man can get.		Would you like Gin and Platonic or do you prefer Scotch and Sofa?
	You look like someone with taste. Want to recommend a colour for my bedroom ceiling?
Save me, I'm drowning in a sea of love!		You know, you could look a lot like my next girlfriend.
	You're what God was thinking of when He said, "Let there be woman".
	(Give eleven roses) When you hold them, it makes the dozen.
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Danger Zone

(These lines are only spoken by the completely drunk and foolish. They can result in much more than a slap and you could be picking your teeth up off the floor or spending the night in hospital)

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.		I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
	Are those real?
Could you lend us some money?		Cheer up pet it may never happen
	Nice legs when do they open?
That top is very becoming on you, but then if I was on you I’d becoming too		That dress looks good on you but I’d look better
	Will you marry me?
I think I love you		Take me drunk, I’m home
	Hi. Are you legal?
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?		That's a nice blouse, it'd look even better on my bedroom floor.
	Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cos I can see myself in your pants tonight!
Nice dress, can I talk you out of it?		Glad to see me, or shall I get the mop?
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